Always Dependent

Psalm 119, I believe, is a great help to understand the Christian’s life of faith.  In this psalm, you get a sense of many ups and downs, highs and lows in this life of faith. I believe most, myself included would expect this psalm to end with a high note, of victory and intimacy with God.  It does not, and to me, it is telling that it doesn’t.  This is the end of this great psalm of faith:=

Psalm 119:173-176

Let your hand be ready to help me,
    for I have chosen your precepts.
 I have longed for your salvation, Yahweh.
    Your law is my delight.
 Let my soul live, that I may praise you.
    Let your ordinances help me.
 I have gone astray like a lost sheep.
    Seek your servant, for I don’t forget your commandments.

It seems clear to me these are the thoughts of a child of God.  This seeker of God has chosen the way of God, delighting in God’s revelations, character, and law.  Now, however this child and lover of God is feeling dead, distanced from His Lord.  His greatest desire is to be in intimate, lively praise and communion with His Lord, for some reason or another he feels the lack of this now.

Let my soul live, that I may praise you.
    Let your ordinances help me.

It is a great sign of life, and  actual closeness, the promised closeness and nearness of Jesus and His Spirit, in the psalmist reaction to this hard felt need.  He returns to His Hope, His Friend and Savior for help.  He has the guidance and directing of the gentle Spirit within Him to come to His God in dependence, “Let my soul live, that I may praise you.”  He is presently depending on His Lord to restore him to a place of felt vitality, and praise of God.  God is drawing His lonely child to safety to dependence on the word and Spirit of God for help, and sustaining through this difficult time.

 I have gone astray like a lost sheep.
    Seek your servant, for I don’t forget your commandments.

This seeking child of God, I believe is acknowledging his sin, frailties, lack of faith, which has contributed greatly to his present condition.  He is crying out in true but seemingly weak faith, “Seek your servant, for I don’t forget your commandments.”  Seek me Lord, I feel lost,  I know You are my Shepherd, and Deliverer.  I do not understand fully why I have been left feeling as I do.  I have come to know Your kindness, Your mercy, Your love, You have revealed these to me in the past.  I haven’t and I will not forget your mercy and love so graciously shown and proven to me in the past.  I don’t forget and turn away from the hope of salvation You placed within me.  I am reliant on You, Jesus, to bring me back to You, in a felt way.  I trust that You are actually as near as You ever were, however I want to know and sense the love of God, You have so selflessly made possible for me.  I am confident in Your mercy and love Lord, though I do not feel it so much now.  I am walking by faith not by sight, Your truth not by my experience right now.


Personal note:

I believe God’s word is full of encouragement.  I want depressed believers to know they are not alone in their feelings of low hope, of lifelessness, I want to be a truthful witness, that the Lord is near his depressed and low saints, even when feelings and realizations of His nearness are blocked by infirmities.  I want the bullied and rejected young believer to know they are not weird or abnormal (in a negative sense) to be receiving hatred and rejection from some in the world.  I want my writings to help, even if only a little, as a counter balance to judgment and condemnation from our enemy and others.  A counter balance from some believers who may ask you, “where is your joy, where is your peace, where is your God?” or such things and intimations.  I want believers to know they do not need to prove their faith to these people.  They do not need to resort to pretenses and superficial masks, to please others.  They can continue to seek a real faith, with all its ups and downs, a true worship of God in Spirit and truth.

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